Accepted answer

The OMFG Answer

In a hysterical twist of fate, I found the problem. This particular issue took up 48 hours of my time, but the cause was not even code related and a funny miscommunication.

So as it turns out, another developer had copied our websocket code into a new file he was working on for development. All this time we were trying to debug code in a file that wasn't even executing at run-time. So upon further investigation we scrolled to the bottom of a very long and different file, and found the webbit init code and excuted it perfectly.

Moral of the story: don't commit an incomplete file to the master branch and point everyone there for debugging ;)

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